I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
