My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
