My brain says no but my pants say off.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
