We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
