covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
