Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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