my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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