and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
