Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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