You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
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Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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