He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
