dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
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You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
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I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....