just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
