i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
