Non-Jews are for practice
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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