oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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