Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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