But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
