She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
