dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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