So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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