so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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