32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
