I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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