shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize
