He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
