something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize