i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Drake has all the answers
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
