who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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