its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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