i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
