mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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