DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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