i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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