He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
