Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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