420 ftw
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
