i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
