yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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