i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
