I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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