the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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