Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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