dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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