thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
