I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
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I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
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I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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