U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
