that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
