sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
