I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
