the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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