Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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