We're facebook friends in real life
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
