I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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