how do flat chested girls get laid?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
