if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
