Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize