i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
