just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
