You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
