this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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